Motivation v. Dedication
It can be pretty easy to set a goal—
“I want to lose 10 lbs. by November”
“I want to redecorate the kitchen”
“I want to save up for a new car.”
Easy, right?
And finding the motivation for those things can be even easier—
“I’m going to a friend’s wedding in November.”
“My kitchen needs major updates and I’d like to entertain more.”
“I deserve a new car.”
Again, easy. But why is that we struggle to reach our goals? Are we not motivated?
At the start of 2019, I was at my lowest weight I had been since I was in college. I was working out almost every day and eating what made my body feel energized. Basically, you could say my fitness journey was “right on track.” Around that same time I met my then boyfriend who made me feel really special and beautiful in a way I had never felt before. He would compliment me on how strong and fit I was and was getting all the time and at some point I started going to the gym for him, subconsciously at first but then it became my motivating factor. “I want to look good for him.” My reason for working out had changed, it was no longer for me and it so it no longer brought joy.
When we broke up later that year, I was devastated and my stress due to work was at its worst. I didn’t want to workout. I didn’t care about what I ate. I just wanted to sleep. I had lost my motivation, as stupid as that sounds—but he and it was gone. Over the course of three months I gained a lot of weight and my clothes stopped fitting. I was confused because I didn’t understand what happened. How I could let myself get so out of control?
First and foremost, gaining and losing 10-20 pounds are part of life and BOTH are normal and okay. It happens because life happens. Breakups, joy, work, travel, and sometimes nothing in particular can also be causes of weight gain and that’s perfectly fine. It’s not a set back.
But you see, the hurdle between you and your goal is not just motivation, although it does play a huge role, it’s DEDICATION. Dedicating the time and effort to do the things you know you should do for you and what you want. My motivation was skewed last year and it should have always been about me first and my happiness. If it had been then the need to care for myself, through exercise and nutrition, would have far outweighed the stress of work and my relationship. You absolutely need to dedicate and discipline yourself to understand your needs. Even if I needed to take a break from the gym, at least I would have understood where I was mentally and tried to heal.
